The Lazy SEO Manifesto

I pledge to strive wholeheartedly to make the most amount of money while doing the least amount of work possible.

I pledge to develop passive revenue streams that maintain themselves using automated systems.

I pledge to outsource anything that possibly can be outsourced. My core competencies are thinking, planning and strategizing, and my time spent on those activities will yield the highest ROI.

I pledge to have a secretary/personal assistant and/or mistress to take care of pesky details.

I pledge to only give my phone number to very close associates. Everyone else will have to email me. I will compulsively check my email throughout the day, but it may take me up to a week to answer one, especially if the reply requires effort on my part.

I pledge to use Digg, Reddit, Delicious and the like as a shortcut to link building. The Digg community is a bunch of annoying little wankers but I will play the game until my sites all have TrustRank out the wazoo from dozens of successful link baits.

I pledge to get dressed only after the noon hour. Getting dressed implies putting on pajama pants or sweats instead of boxers only. It does not necessarily imply the presence of a shirt.

I pledge to extend myself outside of the SEO realm only into even lazier and more defensible areas. Namely, domaining.

I pledge to waste at least two hours a day on Threadwatch, WebmasterWorld and Bloglines. Not because I’m learning anything new, but because I’m bored.

I pledge to be a Lazy SEO.

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23 comments ↓

#1 scoreboard on 01.21.07 at 3:29 pm

I pledge to get back into comment spamming Wordpress themes that have a background that looks like my shower tile.

#2 admin on 01.21.07 at 3:45 pm

Now that’s personal.

#3 graywolf on 01.21.07 at 6:24 pm

ROTFLMFAO!!! Man that should be printed out and put on every SEO’s wall

#4 Hawaii SEO on 01.22.07 at 3:30 am

I pledge to do at least half of these items at the beach & the other half while watching TV.

#5 admin on 01.22.07 at 12:25 pm

Hawaii SEO,

Thanks for raising the ante and taking it to another level. You are a True Lazy SEO.

#6 IncrediBILL on 01.22.07 at 7:08 pm

Um, that’s not funny, that’s my daily routine!

Except maybe the pants thing… who needs ‘em

#7 Dio on 01.23.07 at 2:10 am

The whole getting dressed thing is a real important issue for us web bound types. If you can stay in your pyjamas the whole day you save time not having to get undressed at the end of it, freeing up a precious 5 minutes at the end of each day that you can devote to more important activities.

Do the math 7 x 5 = 35 minutes extra a week of precious time spent in more appropriate activities - such as laughing at some of the more clueless threads on Digital Point or adding strangers to your MyBlogLog profile without ever reading their blogs! Priceless. Go Jammys, 24/7.

#8 maxd on 01.23.07 at 5:31 am

Ha, I have just done the sweats thing although the boxers ruled prior as I was deluded that I really was going to get dressed. I am a recent arrival in home sphere. Although still having a few offices and tons of employees I though what was the point of going to work all day, ignoring employees who speak to me becuase I am too busy reading a threadwatch thread or something. IM, email, skype and something like basecamp can run projects well enough and there is no need for an eyeball.
Delegation is not lazy. The only thing Andy if you worked more hours you could delegate some more and get some more projects done and as it is winter there is not much to do ourtside. Make hay while the sun does not shine :)

#9 sugarrae on 01.23.07 at 7:45 am

Ok, you know not all lazy SEO’s are men damn it. My editing suggestions:

I pledge to have a secretary/personal assistant and/or mistress/pool boy to take care of pesky details.

I pledge to get dressed only after the noon hour. Getting dressed implies putting on pajama pants or sweats instead of boxers or a thong and t-shirt only. It does not necessarily imply the presence of a shirt (if you’re a female SEO with a webcam, we highly recommend against it).

Damn it. :P

#10 Cameron Olthuis on 01.24.07 at 11:13 am

Word!

#11 Chris Hooley on 01.24.07 at 2:46 pm

I hope you don’t pledge to be so lazy you stop going to conferences and getting your drank on. That would suck, but still be kinda awesome in a way.

#12 admin on 01.24.07 at 5:43 pm

Whoa, slow down Hooley. Conferences and drinking are an integral part of the Tropical SEO lifestyle

#13 Brent on 01.31.07 at 1:03 pm

I pledge to continually increase my value in this world through superior strategy, planning and inspiration while helping others do the same. I pledge to find people that will pay me for this.

Congratulations on finding a great life design to work towards. I did the same exact thing after living in Boston for 6 years. I grew up in Florida, figured out some basic bsuiness pricipals in the big city and moved to the Big Island.

I built (still in progress) a treehouse that I live in. A generator, satellite dish, yagi powered antenna and a cellie keep me in touch with one client at a time.

Maybe we could work something out sometime for you to come out and teach a class or something?

Braddah Dave, mentioned that you were having tropical dreams and thought you could use a little push to come out here. Sounds like you might fit right in out here in the heart of aloha.

#14 Hawaii SEO on 01.31.07 at 1:47 pm

Brent (Above) is the real deal. The dude lives in a cool Tree-house on the Big Island and does most of his client work right on the beach. He also goes to more search conferences than I do. I’m so jealous.

#15 Brent on 01.31.07 at 2:20 pm

Ho Braddah Dave, let’s talk about doing a conference over here. Maybe we can share some of this aloha with the braddahs on the mainland??

If yer into it?

You guys are always welcome to come stay in the tree house, anytime.

#16 admin on 01.31.07 at 2:30 pm

I actually bought a book “So You Want to Live in Hawaii” last year and read it cover to cover, it basically said the Big Island is the most affordable option. I am leaning more towards the Gulf Coast now, though–Hawaii is so expensive!

#17 Brent on 01.31.07 at 4:00 pm

20 acres going for around 130k now. The Gulf Coast has some great deals, especially in an around the lakes and bays near Gulf Port, Mississippi? or so I’ve been told??

I live here for the aloha. For me, there’s some sort of spiritual connection with the land and people that you may or may not feel when you come here.

After reading your pledges, it sounds like the timing could be right in your life to check it out. Sorry to get so far off topic. Shoot me an email sometime -aloha!

Btw, Dave is being very modest.

#18 pbradish on 02.01.07 at 10:39 am

You describe me (sometimes) to a tee. It’s scary and a little bit creepy.

Nice post. I’m printing it and hanging it on the bulletin board :)

#19 Kung Foodie on 02.06.07 at 2:14 pm

ROFL ….I pledge to drink margaritas with lunch every day.

#20 kongmeng on 02.07.07 at 2:25 pm

When I grow up I want to be a lazy SEO!

#21 Gopi on 03.06.07 at 11:00 am

Except for the secratery part i think i am all you described!.

#22 lin.r on 03.29.07 at 6:29 am

Did you follow me. JK

#23 Altares on 04.24.07 at 10:36 pm

Woah, crazy seeing some Big Island people on an SEO blog. Born and raised in Waimea, been at college in Chicago the past 4 years. Trying desperately to make enough money to support myself online so I can dodge the corporate grind and come back to the beach!